This and That

Between the rain and the energy of the new moon, I'm feeling both restless and philosophical today. New moon should mean new beginnings -- it only comes once a month, so I need to take advantage of the opportunity while I have it!

So I'm going to try to post here more often. Starting today.

Last week I got to spend some quality time with one of my oldest and dearest friends. Because we hadn't seen each other in more than ten years, I decided to share my spirituality -- and this blog -- with her. Acceptance for who you are is one of the most beautiful gifts there is. Genuine interest is even more wonderful.

I'm working more with my Tarot cards, working on a notebook and generally just doing more practice. I don't think I've handled them this much since I first began reading them in university, and I've missed them. Since the night I was the entertainment for a local Red Hatter group, I've done readings for my sister and my friend, as well as multiple practice readings. It feels good -- becoming more natural all the time.

I think it's safe to say our Circle has disbanded. I was talking with Maiden last night via text message, and neither one of us has heard from Crone. I want to call her, to see how she's doing, but to be honest, I'm a little afraid to. I'm not sure of the reception I'd receive. The last time we were together, I really had a hard time reading her -- not something I'm used to -- and it was a little painful. Her heart attack changed her -- as it would anyone, I'm sure -- and I'm not sure who she is anymore. It's sad.

Although I feel lonely sometimes, I really think I'm just not meant to practice with others.

The Circle

Last night, Maiden, Crone and I got together for a much-needed evening of Tarot, tea, sharing of knowledge, and just good old-fashioned cackling. (I'm particularly looking forward to a repeat of Crone's muffin experiment at Beltaine!)

I love hanging out with my soul sisters. We are all at different phases of our lives, facing different challenges and changes. It has been a rough winter for all three of us, for varying reasons, but when we are together, there is a strength -- an energy -- that fuels and heals us all.

We tried a new Tarot spread -- an astrological one. All three of us had our cards read in sequence; first Maiden, then me, then Crone. We had never used this particular spread before, and as much as I love the Celtic Cross, it was exciting to try something new. It never ceases to amaze me at how "bang on" the cards can sometimes be.

A couple of the lessons that I took away from my reading were that I should be rekindling my love of writing, and that I should have more faith in my creative abilities -- that I'm holding myself back. Both of these messages ring true, so I'm going to tuck them away in my heart.

Here is a picture of my astrological Tarot spread. (The candy was how we kept track of which card represented the First House, in case you're wondering!) I love the fact that the card for my First House is the Three of Cups, as this is the card always makes me think of our Circle. Three Queens of Cups, coming together in celebration of life, spirit, and each other.

Catching up.

Something wonderful happened this week. I finally made it to my friend's Tarot study group. Although I don't want to say too much about the evening, I will say that it was a wonderful illustration of things being "meant to be", and it was so incredible to be "among my own kind".

This monthly meeting is something that I'm going to do my best to attend as much as humanly possible. It was so good to be there among friends, new and old. Besides, I miss using my cards, and without a little bit of a nudge, I don't seem to take them out. Life gets in the way too much. (Look how "often" this blog gets updated, for example.)

In other Tarot news, a friend of mine gave me a gift yesterday, a gently used (if at all) Shakespeare Oracle set. As someone who appreciates both different interpretations of Tarot and The Bard, I have been really enjoying these cards. They're a little hard to shuffle, as they're a bit larger than standard, but they feel good.

Thank you, Friend! It was very thoughtful of you, and I will treasure them and think of you.

A Card at a Time

Last night I finally started working on my Tarot notebook. I didn't want to do too much on it last night because the moon was void of course all day, and I usually avoid starting new things in such a situation, but I did write up a page and decide on how I wanted to organize things.

My plan is, after putting in notes on question-phrasing and correspondences, to do a card at a time. I always learn better by writing, so I'm not only making a compilation to study from, but I'm studying as I go.

I'm using a few different books, plus notes from a course I took, as sources. I'm also thinking I might put some pictures in as well, but both of my printers are out of order at the moment.

In other news ... Today is supposed to be a good day for networking and business matters, so I decided to stop procrastinating (out of fear of rejection) and made an appointment to go see about a consolidation loan. If you've got some extra "good vibes" handy around 3 PM Eastern time, I'd appreciate you sending them my way. I've prepared things as best I can (figured out the numbers, put my facts together, decided what to say, and burnt some "prosperity" incense to boot), so let's all cross our fingers, shall we?

Samhain Tarot Reading

Although I was exhausted and couldn't wait to crawl into bed, I had to make sure I did at least one Tarot reading this Samhain. In past years, I have used a simple 13-card calendar spread for the changing of the year from old to new. But this year I wanted something a little more specific to Samhain, and I found this layout (by someone named tabi) online.

I can't exactly say I was excited at first glance. Not a great deal of "happy-happy--joy-joy" to be had here. But we take what we get, right? (And besides, the past year hasn't exactly been all sunshine and posies, either.)

Position 1: Harvest: What am I thankful for?
Card: VIII of Cups

The VIII of Cups usually has to do with searching for a deeper meaning, being weary, or moving on. From Samhain 2006 'til now was probably the roughest patch of my life so far. But it has gotten better. I've gotten better, and for that I am extremely thankful. Not all growth spurts are easy, and I am both grateful that I've grown as a person, and thankful that things are settling down somewhat now.

Position 2: Night: What is beginning for me now?
Card: IV of Pentacles

The IV of Pentacles is a card that's about being possessive, obsessed with control, and blocking change. This card is a little more difficult for me to interpret as it is in the "beginning" position. I don't like change, not one bit, but I can't really see how this is beginning, as it has always been a part of who I am. I think the answer probably lies more in the possessive/control freak area, but I'll have to get back to you on what that means as I live it. It would make sense, though, as a lot of the past year has been completely out of my control.

Position 3: Bonfire: What lights my path to it?
Card: II of Cups, Reversed

The II of Cups, Reversed, has to do with connections, truces, and attractions, and varying stages of each. This card makes sense to me. I have a very close friend with whom I had been out of touch with for some time, and we are in the process of becoming close again. I am gaining a great deal of strength from this friend, and he has helped me weather the storm of the past year. He is also my sounding board and reality check, and I can see him keeping me from going too wacky over my control issues. This card makes sense to me.

Position 4: Sacrifice: What must I give up in order to move forward?
Card: VI of Cups

The VI of Cups was the card that I looked at and went "Bang on!". It is the card of good will, childhood and innocence, and the fact that it came up in the sacrifice position made me nod in agreement. Possibly one of the biggest changes in me in the past year was that I finally grew up. I lost my innocence. My illusions were shattered. For several months I was the walking wounded, shell-shocked and unable to breathe because it hurt too much. Until I was able to accept some of the things that happened, until I was able to let go of what I had always held to be true, I couldn't start to come back to the surface. I'm not fully there yet, but I'm on the mend. It hurt like hell, and I'm a different person now, but it was necessary for my journey.

Position 5: Ashes: What covers/protects me?
Card: VI of Pentacles

This one stumped me a little bit. The VI of Pentacles is a card that focuses on the having or not having of resources, knowledge, and power. Most of the time I feel like I don't have enough of any of these. I'm always carefully watching the gas gauge, praying it'll make it to pay day. I'm sometimes convinced by others that I'm under-qualified to do the job I do (even though lots of people think I do just fine, thanks). And I've already mentioned the control freak thing. But ultimately, when I think about it, I'm doing okay. I have enough to keep going, and enough control over my own life. Perhaps the purpose of this card was to point out to me that I'm doing okay.

Positions 6, 7 and 8: The spirits that guide me on this journey
Card 6: VII of Cups, Reversed

The VII of Cups, Reversed, is all about wishful thinking, options, and dissipation. One of the possible interpretations is that the bubble has burst, that the illusions have been let go. Perhaps a lifetime of building those illusions was necessary in order for this lesson to have the devastating effect it did? I'm a little confused by this one, but maybe it will become more clear as life moves on?

Card 7: XIII Death

This card always scares people when it comes up in readings, and I'll admit that even I heaved a huge sigh of apprehension when it came up. But the Death card doesn't necessarily mean someone's going to die. It's about endings and transitions, eliminations and forces that are bigger than we are. It makes perfect sense to me that this card came up because a) I'm entering a new period in my life, b) the old me is pretty much dead, and c) a lot of the pain I went through in the past year literally had to do with deaths of loved ones. I'm not sure how the whole "spirit guide" thing works here, but the card itself seems applicable.

Card 8: XVIII The Moon

The Moon is related to fears, illusions, bewilderment and the imagination. I feel like I'm beating a dead horse here, but I guess if you take into account everything else I've said during this interpretation, this card also makes perfect sense. In other words, please see above.

So that was my Samhain Tarot reading. Not all sweetness and light by any stretch of the imagination, but certainly appropriate, given everything that has gone on in my life in the past year. The fact that the cards were mostly Cups and Pentacles show that my chief concerns were emotional and material matters, and the two Major Arcana cards bringing up the end as a one-two punch indicates just how deeply affected I was, how strong the year's influences were on me.

Happy New Year! (And I'm glad that one's over with!)

Personal Tarot Cards

Did this online via Facebook.

Your Personal Tarot Cards are listed below. Scroll down to read a brief description of each card. Click on the thumbnails to view larger images of the cards.

It is important to remember that this is not a Tarot Spread. The selection of these cards is based upon your name and birth date. With the exception of the growth cards, your personal cards do not change. Cards that appear more than once in your personal set indicate that the influences they represent are a very powerful force in your life.

Your Power Cards Represent strengths you were born with.
The Chariot	The Empress
The Chariot is the representation of victory and the personality traits required to attain victory. The Chariot indicates self-awareness and control. Courage, the ability to overcome fear and confront the unknown head on, is a primary ingredient of any victorious campaign and is denoted by the Chariot. So too is force of will. Often, success is as much the product of will power and a refusal to surrender as it is anything else. The Chariot represents the healthy personality of someone who believes in themselves; someone who can take control of the situation and bring events to a positive end. Success comes in competition with others. When The Magus is among your personal cards, the influence of The Chariot may be increased. Having The Hanged Man or The Tower in your personal cards may diminish the influence of The Chariot.	She embodies all that is nurturing, clean and wholesome. Her powers resonate from her drive to create and care for life on a grand scale. She is in tune with Nature’s rhythm and realizes that life’s most pleasurable moments often stem from the simplest things. She is not afraid to enjoy herself and let loose, even to the point of being lavish. Abundance and luxury are important to her. The Empress is completely comfortable with her femininity and her sexuality. She is sensual, earthy, generous and likes the good life. Still, her driving force is a need to create and nurture, and fulfilling this need overrides everything else. When The Lover or The Star are among your personal cards, the influence of The Empress may be increased. Having the Emperor or Death in your personal cards may diminish the influence of The Empress.
Your Desire Cards Focus on your ambitions and dreams.
The Hanged Man	The Empress
The Hanged Man is the most enigmatic card of the Tarot. Even Tarot giants like Waite, Crowley and Levi had trouble deciphering The Hanged Man’s true meaning. Generally, The Hanged Man is thought to represent the value of surrender and selfless acts. The Hanged Man embodies the notion that sometimes to lose is to win. Unlike the aggressive Chariot, The Hanged Man creates his fate through inaction and accepts his fortune passively, without resistance. He does not struggle to control the path his life takes, but rather allows events to sweep him where they will, even if he is called upon to sacrifice himself. He is so at ease with the Fate the Universe chose for him that even hanging upside down from a tree does not ruffle him. When The High Priestess or Strength is among your personal cards, the influence of The Hanged Man may be increased. Having The Magus or Chariot in your personal cards may diminish the influence of The Hanged Man.	She embodies all that is nurturing, clean and wholesome. Her powers resonate from her drive to create and care for life on a grand scale. She is in tune with Nature’s rhythm and realizes that life’s most pleasurable moments often stem from the simplest things. She is not afraid to enjoy herself and let loose, even to the point of being lavish. Abundance and luxury are important to her. The Empress is completely comfortable with her femininity and her sexuality. She is sensual, earthy, generous and likes the good life. Still, her driving force is a need to create and nurture, and fulfilling this need overrides everything else. When The Lover or The Star are among your personal cards, the influence of The Empress may be increased. Having the Emperor or Death in your personal cards may diminish the influence of The Empress.
Your Lucky Cards Represent elements that favor you.
The Emperor	The Fool
The Emperor is gifted with the skills to successfully lead others. He can turn chaos into order, provide structure to that which is unbound. He is quick of mind and confident in his power and right to rule, and does so in a just manner. Although stern by nature, he truly is the ultimate father figure. He will provide as needed, teach those with unanswered questions, protect the vulnerable and set and maintain boundaries. His perfect world runs on schedule and is free of any disturbances. What the Emperor must be wary of is setting boundaries and rules where none are needed. If he isn’t, he may well become a tyrant. When The Hierophant or Justice are among your personal cards, the influence of The Emperor may be increased. Having The Empress in your personal cards may diminish the influence of The Emperor.	This card represents the dreamer in you, the idealist, the mystic. The Fool desires to do great things, but is often unaware of just how difficult great things are to do. He must always be very careful of the choices he makes, and remember that knowledge is his ally. The Fool often symbolizes a new beginning, unrestrained optimism and curiosity that hasn’t been dulled by time. While The Fool may well indicate a lack of experience or grasp of the pitfalls along the path he is taking, it is equally true that his lack of experience leads him to believe all things are possible, which brings nearly impossible goals within his grasp. When The Hanged Man or The Star are among your personal cards, the influence of The Fool may be increased. Having The Devil in your personal cards may diminish the influence of The Fool.
Your Growth Cards Represent influences you will need to take advantage of over the next year.
The Devil	The Lovers
The Devil is perhaps the most perplexing card one can have in their set of personal cards. He represents all that most find undesirable and distasteful. He embodies the seven deadly sins (Lust, Gluttony, Avarice, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride). The Devil is evil personified. However, it is unlikely his presence in your cards means you are most suited to be a child of Satan. The more plausible explanation is that you are actually quite moral, and feel a deep duty to oppose the dark forces The Devil embodies. This in no way implies you should establish your own inquisition, but simply that you are acutely aware of the destructive influences in our world and have the strength to resist them. All other cards of the Major Arcana diminish the influence of The Devil.	The Lovers indicates both the most powerful of unions and the most challenging of conflicts. On one side, The Lover’s embodies love and union on a cosmic scale. A love so strong, so inherently good that it actually makes the lovers better. All of the elements are there for the perfect union. The Lovers represent all powerful unions in general and the elements that sustain them. The problem The Lovers face is temptation and the decision to act immorally to take advantage of other opportunities that would be defined as transgressions. The Lovers influence is increased when The Empress is among your personal cards. Having The Hierophant or The Hermit in your personal cards may diminish the influence of the Lovers.
Your Core Cards Represent your most basic traits. All that you are begins with the influences associated with these cards.
The Sun	The Magus
Only The World card of the Tarot can match the blessings that come with The Sun. While it certainly doesn’t promise a life’s path without some bumps in the road, The Sun indicates all will be well. The Sun is our Cosmic Nurturer. Life flourishes under its radiant beams. It provides the illumination to find Truths and lights one’s path so they do not get lost. To stand in the rays of The Sun is to shine. To absorb its energy promotes growth, exceptional physical and mental health, and good fortune. The Sun is empowering, elevating and filling those who bask in it with confidence and a sense of self-worth. To have The Sun anywhere in your personal cards is truly a gift. When The World is among your personal cards, the influence of The Sun may be increased. Having The Moon in your personal cards may diminish the influence of The Sun.	The Magus is the physical embodiment of decisive action based upon knowledge and aimed squarely at specific goals. While firmly set in the material world, he none-the-less has a powerful spiritual connection as well. His knowledge, wisdom and skill are all encompassing. He is complete. His power as a creator is unmatched on our earthly plane. He is self-aware and unafraid to act. His enormous strength gives him the freedom to act as he chooses. However, responsibility comes with that freedom. Because he is not bound to the restraints of others, he must choose how to act. The question that always lies before him is should he act morally, or forsake ethics for personal gain? When The Chariot is among your personal cards, the influence of The Magus may be increased. Having The Empress or Hanged Man in your personal cards may diminish the influence of The Magus.