Monday, July 8, 2002

Open and Shut (Broom-Closet) Case

My friends from Connecticut, Kathy and Gary, are here from (yesterday) Sunday to Thursday. We had a great time in St. Andrews today - watched whales, etc. Had a very awkward moment, though. We were in one of my favourite shops, called Garden By the Sea. I hadn’t been there in years, and they’d changed it a lot and I was very excited. They’d added a bulk herb section, incense, and had lots of nifty things, like cobalt blue glass bottles with pewter moons on them, etc. I was very, very excited.

I thought that Kathy already knew about my “mystical earthiness", because we are both part of an online group of friends called Nartmoms. Long story short, it’s a very close-knit group of women who get together once a week and brainstorm goals, etc. Anyway, when I started “waking up” from my spiritual coma last year, I told them, as I would tell them about any major life-changing event. They were all incredibly accepting and supportive and it was wonderful. So I thought Kathy already knew. I’d forgotten she hasn’t been active in the group in ages and ages.

So here I am in this shop, getting all excited and not only expecting that she knows but also that she accepts. Whoops. The actual conversation, when I realized she didn’t know, went something like this:

Me: Um, you know … about me … right?

Kathy: Know about you? (insert suspicious, fearful tone) What? You’re not *Wiccan*, are you?

Me: (trying to laugh it off) No, I’m not Wiccan.

Well, I didn’t lie, because I’m not Wiccan. Wicca is a religion with certain tenets, and my spirituality, at this point, anyway, is much more loosely-based. But I had a huge moment of panic there – it was my first time encountering what seemed to be real negativity where my beliefs are concerned. I’m usually so very guarded about the whole thing, mainly because I don’t want to scare anyone, but also because I don’t want to lose anybody. Even if they don’t dump me, just knowing how they feel would make me back away from them.

The incident was completely forgotten, I’m sure, by Kathy, and everything was fine after that. I’m okay. But I don’t know what would’ve happened if I hadn’t caught on to the fact that she didn’t know when I did.

On the plus side, I’m planning a little shopping trip to St. Andrews in the next few weeks. :)

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